The Little Moments

Things are starting to fall into place – I’m figuring things out and getting shit in order, however slowly that may seem to be happening.  Really, I don’t think it’s actually going slowly – it just seems that way because I prefer my answers instantaneously. My impatience will be the death of me, I’m almost certain.  Or it will be the basis of my success.  It could go either way.

I’m getting a tire changed on Scarlet tomorrow morning, I have a very necessary appointment scheduled for Thursday morning, I have the garden scheduled to be pulled out this weekend, and know how much money I need for all of these projects to be completed. I need to make dentist appointments for all of us, and an eye appointment for myself – but one thing at a time.  Let me get through this week.  If I can do that and not lose my mind, I’ll move on to the next set of tasks.

Work was clusterfucky, and I was happy to be home with my hooligans and their random shenanigans – Chase is boycotting normal everyday clothing and changes from one pair of pajamas every evening at bath time to a new pair.  Matthew seems to have a problem with using dishes, walking around the other night with a handful of pasta, and this evening with a piece of breaded fish in each hand.  I’m raising heathens.  It’s okay. They know how to person when they’re outside of the house – they save their hooligan behavior for inside our four walls. Besides, they’re highly entertaining and bring some lightheartedness to break up the everyday monotony.

With that being said. . .

“So long as you have food in your mouth you have solved all problems for the time being.”

Franz Kafka

I had to think real hard on this one, guys.  I was sitting here looking at it in a literal sense, and completely disagreeing – like, if your house is on fire you can’t make a sandwich and put the fucking fire out, right?

I had to write out a few sentences to make the light bulb click on, not gonna lie.

So, let me explain it how I see it.

My day starts just as the sun is rising, and as soon as my feet hit the floor, I’m on the go – let’s say 6am, since that’s the most consistent time I get up.  So at 6am I start my day – sometimes with yoga and meditation, always with a shower, and I accomplish some shit around the house and some writing, take a look at Chase’s school work for the day, etc., etc., etc. – I proceed go to work, and I don’t get home until after 6pm. At that time, I am able to change my clothes and start dinner. I don’t sit down until almost 7pm for dinner.

But no matter what happened in my day, I look forward to that meal.

It’s not because of the food though; I think that’s the part that I disagree with. It’s the fact that I am sitting down with my little family.  Whatever happened prior to that moment where I make mine and the boys’ plates and sit down, it vanishes. It’s gone for that time that I am at the table with them. We eat our dinner and joke and laugh and talk about our respective days. Electronics aren’t allowed at the table, so it is strictly me and them, no distractions. Sometimes we talk about current events, or things that they’re studying. . . or just complete random nonsense.  It doesn’t matter.  For those few minutes in the evening, none of the bullshit from the day matters – it’s over and done. This is where we come together, me and my hooligans. It’s a time for me to shut down from the stresses from the day that is behind me, and shift into the quieter version of myself – I can be the mother and the writer, instead of the woman who has to go and do and be, the woman who gets shit done.  It is most definitely my favorite part of the day, the one that I look forward to most.  Often, the boys argue and nitpick at each other. Overall though, there’s a feeling of togetherness that just brings things into perspective for me – these children are the reason I keep pushing forward.

During dinner, the world can be absolutely going to hell in a handbasket and it wouldn’t matter.  Matt may be standing leaning against the counter with a piece of breaded fish in each hand, and Chase may be making orangutang noises while he crouches on the chair seat in his pajamas across from me, but we’re all there and accounted for – we survived another day.

It’s not the food I’m feeding them that is solving the problems in my world.  It’s the love I have for the hooligans that I’m feeding that does, and their very presence soothes my soul. They are my crazy and they are my sanity simultaneously – and without them to look forward to each day, I would have no reason to do what I do day in and day out.

So, happy Tuesday.  Take a moment to appreciate the little moments in your day with those that you love. It doesn’t matter where it’s at or what you’re doing – just the fact that they are there and that you are together is all that matters.

Photo by Mae Mu on Unsplash

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