I spent so much time in my life trying to make others happy, that I forgot what it meant to he happy on my own.
I know I’ve talked a lot about my mental and emotional journey to find peace with who I am and embrace that person. It’s something that I’m grateful for each day, that I know who I am and I love who I have become. It’s something I feel strongly about, so here we are.
Day 10: Write about something for which you feel strongly.
I can’t stress enough how important it is to take a step back from life at some point and gauge how you feel about every given detail of what is going on and who’s involved and what you’re doing. And actually, I think sooner rather than later is probably the best bet.
You hear the term ‘mid-life crisis’ and I think this is what it comes from. You’re 40 or 45 or 50 or whatever is considered mid-life these days, and you suddenly realize you have no fucking idea who you are. So you quit your job or leave your significant other or buy a fancy new car trying to figure out if that’s what you need in your life.
I mean I guess I’m no expert, but this doesn’t make sense in my head.
People jump into a marriage or relationship or career because of societies expectations and don’t take the time to figure themselves out. They go from the party scene to the family scene without taking a breather in between.
I’m in no way saying I did it the right way or am currently doing it the right way. I skipped the party scene, went to the family scene, joined the party scene while trying to maintain the family scene, added a kid and quit the party scene. . . But it all amounted to the same. I had no fucking idea who I truly was, being so busy trying to be cool and be a mom. . .
It took the complete destruction of my life for me to take that necessary step back and figure it all out.
Take time for you. That’s really all I’m saying here. Not for your friends or the guys/girls you want to impress. Not your family. Family and friends are important, don’t misunderstand. But is what they expect and want from you what you really want? To work with them or where they want you to work, in the profession they want you in? Do you really like the career, or is it the money? You have to enjoy what you do, I cannot stress that enough. Money is great but if you have no joy it’s really worthless, I swear. Do you really enjoy going out to bars, or do you prefer to stay home? Do you really like current hits, or do you prefer classic rock? Today’s fashions or something a little more conservative? Really sit down and think it through, try new things, figure out you and don’t let anyone tell you who that is. Maybe you hate the town you’re in, maybe your closest friends bore you to tears, maybe you want to paint or write or build houses and not be a doctor. . . You don’t have to fit the mold, you don’t have to follow a timeline – college and then career and then husband/wife then baby then work then retire then die. No, no, no. Go climb a damn mountain, skydive, visit a foreign country or twelve, reject the guy who is your parents ideal match and date a drummer, dye your hair purple or shave it . . . Hell, I don’t know what you need to do to figure it all out but for the love or God do it. And do it now, don’t wait. Don’t wait until the kids are grown or you get laid off to find a new career, do it today. Don’t get married to the first person who looks at you twice, or says pretty words and holds doors and pays for your drinks. . . Wait. Don’t have a baby just because it’s what’s expected, or go to the school your parents swear is the best. Life is too damn short to focus on making everyone around you happy. For fucks sake, just go on and do what makes you happy.