Steady Purpose

This week has me feeling a little scattered and all over the place.  It’s just been hectic.  With a holiday, and a doctor’s appointment and an orthodontist appointment. . . trying to maintain my everyday life of work and caring for the boys, and my writing life and friends and . . . Ooof.  Deep breath.

So.  Let’s catch up.

I wrote four content writing articles this week, I submitted two new pieces to EJ, one of which was published already and one that is still under review.  I’ll post the link to the new piece at the end of this post for your consideration.  If you have the inclination, give it a heart and a share on the EJ site, as that ups my score.

I also received the news that I did in fact place in the top ten this week on EJ, with my 3.6k views on To the Woman He Walked Away From.  Absolutely astounding.  I thought it a complete possibility, but I also thought it a little too good to be true.  I mean, I pride myself in getting shit done, but this is faster than I had anticipated.  I’m proud and I’m excited, and I’m curious what the next achievement is.

I made my way with amazing speed to Friday – it felt like a blink and boom, I was heading home for the weekend.  I had plans to tackle the small field that my garden has become, and Matt’s girlfriend was due to come over, and my standard cleaning and grocery ordering and writing, but otherwise nothing of any importance.  My head was still spinning from the prior week when Andy first sent me a video chat message on Facebook that evening – I was literally sitting and staring at Rosalyn’s screen, wondering if I should just go to bed instead of attempt to try and form words into coherent sentences.  We chatted for a while, and then he talked me into downloading a different video chat app on my computer, then talked me into playing an online video game with him and his wife.  I welcomed the distraction from real life.  I’m not one to generally play video games, but I needed the time to disconnect from my every day.

And so when I woke this morning my mind felt a little clearer.  I showered and did a little cleaning before Chase and I stopped by the store – supposedly for dinner items but walking out with new slippers and a calendar for him, and an ice cream cake and oatmeal cream pies.  I got a new Eucalyptus mint candle for myself, as well as the necessary dinner items I had been in search of.  Otherwise I spent a bunch of money I didn’t intend to spend.  I’m not mad, though.  I enjoy his and my occasional trips to the store, and I enjoy giving into his innocent and useful wants. 

Candle smelling with my mismatched hooligan this morning.❤

We stopped to see his Nana and chatted with her for a little while and picked up some food that she didn’t have a need for that we could use at our house.  Later, she posted about needing grandkids to come over and prepare the yard for fall and I volunteered my hooligans.  Have I mentioned how much I love the confusing wonderfulness of the families that I have become a part of?

Later in the afternoon, Matt and his girlfriend put together a grill that Grandma had picked up and found that it was missing the grates to actually cook things on.  After an adventure looking for replacement grates, I attempted to cook on the grill for the first time in over a year, only to find that I was out of propane. 

I took it as a sign that I shouldn’t cook on the grill after all and used the oven and broiler instead.  Dinner still turned out wonderful, with the strawberry crunch ice cream cake to finish it off. 

The boys and I went to pickup the grocery order, I sat and talked with Grandma for a while, and then it was time to sit down and explore the writing world for a little while – finally.

I submitted a couple pieces to a magazine overseas, and then decided to write my update/quote post finally.  I finally feel like I’m back on top of things with the house cleaned and some work done, and the shopping done for the week. 

“. . . nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose.” – Mary Shelley

I’ve written so much of different trials and tribulations.  What has kept me going through it all is these hooligans of mine.  I have my writing and I have my music, but at the end of the day I wouldn’t be who I am or do the things I do without my kids to push me forward.  There have been days where they were the only reason I got out of bed.  There have been moments where I thought about giving up but couldn’t bear to – because they deserved better than a mother who said, “I can’t.” Moments where I could have been complacent and settled for less than what I wanted because it was easier – but I didn’t.  Because they deserve my absolute best.

Matthew is an avid follower of my numbers.  He likes to know how many countries the blog has reached and how many views and shares my EJ posts are getting.  I love the look of surprise when I give him these details.  “That’s a lot, mom,” he said this evening when I told him to date 630 people had shared my winning article.  His eyes were wide, and he looked truly intrigued.  I told him that this evening I had submitted to the overseas magazine and he sat down and helped me figure out what my payment would be once it was converted to the dollar as opposed to the pound – assuming that my submission is accepted and published.  I think that because he has a vague memory of where we started, that he is just as much in awe as I am at each success and each step forward.  Any success I have or step forward I take is for and because of my kids.  I think that if it weren’t for them, I would be in a very, very different place.  And I don’t think that it would necessarily be a good place.  I have always wanted to write for a living, but I don’t know that I actually would have if it weren’t for this desire to be the best example and provide the best life I can for my kids.  I want to show them that if you work hard and go after what you want as opposed to what everyone else has or what other people think you should do. . . If you don’t give up and give into the trials and tribulations, you can have and be whoever you want and need to be.

I like where I am.  I love my children, and I love the life we have built together.  My days are sprinkled with a little bit of work, and a little bit of my art, and some time with my hooligans, and conversations with various friends and family. My children and I sit at the dinner table, and while there is bickering there is also joking and laughter. Matthew and I have our talks and Chase and I have our shopping and story time.  I sit here at my little improvised desk and Chase comes in to give me a hug and Matt comes in with some random bit of knowledge he’s come across, and I feel absolute and complete joy. We aren’t your traditional family, but we are happy, and we are doing well, and that is all that I could ask for.

It is technically Sunday now as I write, but I haven’t been to bed yet, so it’s still my Saturday.  Whichever day you find this post on however, I hope it’s a happy one.  And I hope you find your purpose.  The thing that makes life worth living.  The thing that you look forward to each and every day and gets you out of bed. The thing that drives you to be your absolute best. Whatever that thing is, you should absolutely embrace it, and you should absolutely strive to keep it.

View the new EJ article here! Making the Impossible, Possible

Photo by juan pablo rodriguez on Unsplash

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