Five twenty had me turning on my bedside lamp and falling back asleep until just after six. I really have tried to make early mornings happen. I said it years ago, when I was regularly getting up before the sun for work – this isn’t the life I want to live. Me and six in the morning barely get along, let alone anything before. I’ll keep setting my alarm for before six, with the hope that it will aide in me getting up semi-on time. But I’m not going to keep beating myself up for not getting up when that God forsaken alarm goes off in the mornings before the sun even thinks of rising.
This morning was much quieter than yesterday morning. No one was awake, and it was just me and my morning routine. I slipped my robe on against the chill in the house, and bundled my hair up in a clip, securing the wild parts away from my face with a headband. I quietly slipped out my bedroom door and peeked in at my Chaser, sprawled across his bed and breathing evenly. I pulled his bedroom door all the way shut and peered down at the dog in her cage – or rather, the lump that was my dog under her purple polka doted blanket. I walked into the dining room and flipped on the light against the dark that still enveloped my backyard and crept through my windows, and then the kitchen light. I quietly began to make a glass of ice water and turned on the Keurig for my tea, taking my vitamins while it brewed.
Some mornings, I am loud. I feel ready to conquer the day, and everyone in earshot knows it – my music is on almost as soon as my feet touch the floor, and I’m racing from one activity to another. Other mornings are like this one. Where I take the time to enjoy the quiet and enjoy that I don’t have to wake up and immediately start kicking ass. I can take the time to wake up and enjoy the luxury of a quiet, peaceful home. I can drink my tea and shower and meditate and attend to little household chores before I start working.
This morning I was running just a little behind since I decided to stay in bed – so I skipped meditating. My music was playing by six-thirty as I showered and then made my bed. I was sitting down by six-fifty to attend to any social media and email notifications that had occurred overnight and check my banking to make sure everything was as it should be. By five after seven I was working on a content writing article. I am finally getting back in my routine after three weeks of doing whatever felt right at the time, feeding my need to take care of myself and live a little slower so I could come back from being sick. I love routine. I love knowing what comes next.
I knew how the rest of my day was going to look already, and I loved it. I loved knowing approximately what each hour of the day had in store for me. Of course, work is a never-ending jack in the box of surprises, but even that is sort of par for the course now after two years.
I posted today’s quote this morning and have thought about it on and off all day, as I do with deeper quotes. Some of these are simple and to the point, and don’t require much thought. And some give me reason to pause, and really think about them.
“Perhaps it is better to wake up after all, even to suffer, rather than to remain a dupe to illusions all one’s life.” – Kate Chopin
I am ever the eternal optimist. I will look at a storm cloud and say that we need the rain. Sometimes, I will talk myself out of a bad situation by just saying, ‘Yeah, no. That’s not how this is gonna work.’ Usually that works.
But sometimes it doesn’t.
Sometimes, you must accept that life isn’t always rainbows and sunshine. Sometimes, really fucking shitty things happen – and it is absolutely out of your control. You cannot live with your head in the clouds and think that everything is always perfect and wonderful and great. Sometimes. . . sometimes life just plain out sucks and gives you bullshit days and fucked up scenarios. Sometimes you need to call a spade a spade, as the saying goes. You need to see a situation for what it is – Shitty. With a capital ‘S’. Maybe even in bold letters and underlined.
But there’s a silver lining to this, too.
Staying asleep to the inevitable and unchangeable doesn’t allow room for growth and for learning. It doesn’t allow you to learn from your experiences and do better next time. But waking up and acknowledging that this shit sucks sometimes and moving forward through the situation. . . Well, hell. You’re moving forward and not staying put.
I am 110% a fan of keeping your head in the clouds – fucking dream, and dream big. But keep your feet on the ground. There needs to be some reality intertwined with your dreams if you’re going to keep a level head about the next steps in your journey. If you’re going to remain humble as you gain success in life.
My EJ article jumped up to 3.3K views today and is featured as the top article in its genre on the site. I am listed in the top 100 contributors to the site. This is all pretty significant shit. It’s mind blowing to me, really.
I still just stare at the numbers in awe, I still feel giddy at the prospect of so many people reading my words and the people that are thanking me for writing it.
“I don’t know why you’re shocked,” I was told today. “You knew you could do it.”
Guys, this article that I wrote for EJ woke me up out of a sickness induced slumber at two o’clock in the morning. I had no set intention on this being my first really successful work. I knew it was good, but I had zero idea that it was that good.
Yes, I knew I could do it. But because I keep my head in the clouds and my feet on the ground, it’s still a shock when I succeed. I can expect to succeed without assuming it’s going to happen immediately.
I find it funny how writing comes to me. I looked at the quote again when I sat down to write this, still not knowing exactly what I was going to write. And here we are at the end, and I’ve made a surprisingly good point with my words, I think.
So, happy Tuesday. Keep your head in the clouds and feet on the ground.
Photo by Kristen Sturdivant on Unsplash