I am ever the optimist. Glass half full, rose colored glasses. This is something that we have determined. It is my blessing, and it is my curse.
When it comes to battling inner demons, it is detrimental to have this mentality. A person who is an optimist pushes the bad down and hides it, justifies it. “The bad made me stronger. The bad made me smarter. The bad made me more empathetic.” This is all very true, but it’s important to address the bad, too. Being stronger and smarter and more empathetic doesn’t make the bad go away.
When it’s raining, it’s raining. There’s no way to change the fact by saying things like, “Well, it won’t be raining in a minute,” Or “Well it probably won’t be raining at 2pm.” Stating these things doesn’t change the fact that if you were to walk outside without an umbrella, your ass would be wet. Regardless of the fact that maybe it wasn’t raining a second ago, and regardless of the fact that this afternoon the forecast is sunshine and blue skies.
When it’s raining, it’s raining.
Some of the things that I have buried for years are pushing to the surface, and it’s awful painful. It’s a lot of self realization, and it’s a lot of me calling myself out on my own bullshit – and that’s mainly that I need to face these things that haunt me. It’s a lot of facts that I can’t hide by donning my rose colored glasses.
I am ever optimistic. I wear my rose colored glasses regardless of anything that is going on, and I push through.
I’m the one to say, “Well, it won’t be raining this afternoon.” I look at the good and ignore the bad.
Well, the truth is that right now it’s raining, and I don’t have a fucking umbrella. So I’m about to get drenched.
Calling yourself out on your own bullshit sucks. But it’s a part of growing. It’s a part of becoming stronger and less fragile. I’m stronger for having been through what I have. But I bet I’d be stronger if I fully acknowledged everything instead of hiding behind a facade of “I’m okay” all the time.
And as you weed out the parts of yourself that are less than stellar, you become a better person. As you address the things that you shove down inside, good things are able to take up that space.
A forest can grow stronger and better after a fire. A torrential down pour makes things grow. Burning a bridge lights the way for other paths that can be taken. Growing is painful, but it leads you to bigger and better things.
And that’s what I’m currently dealing with. My rose colored glasses had me ignoring things that need addressed, and now I have to face the real and honest truth. And it sucks. But when it’s all said and done I will be better for it.
When it’s raining, it’s raining. And that’s okay. Because rain makes things grow.