It seems that unless I write my quote post on Saturday mornings, it won’t get posted that day. Instead I’ll spend a good part of Sunday writing two posts. It doesn’t matter one way or another to me, honestly. It gets written, regardless.
As I said in the last post, as I drove home last night I felt a horrendous headache coming on. It probably had a lot to do with the different types of alcohol I drank and then sobered up from in such a short time. By the time I got home it was raging, and making me irritable. On my drive I had found myself unnecessarily angry and wanting to lash out. So many plans, so many ideas and dreams – just gone. I was angry for this, I was angry because I can’t seem to find the closure I want and need. I’ve requested certain things be done in order for me to gain this closure, and often it seems my requests are ignored. I don’t know the reason behind this, why it seems my feelings and thoughts aren’t being taken into consideration, and that bothers me. I hate grey area, and I hate not knowing the answers. I’m not a go with the flow kind of person. I guess the only thing I can figure is that it isn’t time for closure yet. I have something more to learn, or the story isn’t finished yet. Regardless of this realization, I was angry. On this mission to embrace my feelings, I let myself be angry. After all, I have every right to be angry. I pushed away the need to lash out though, as I know that it was pointless and would do nothing but make things worse. Instead I jumped in the shower and went to bed. It was before 10pm.
I awoke again at 5am, and decided that I wasn’t going to allow myself to stay awake. I managed to fall back asleep until 7am. I wasn’t angry anymore, but I definitely felt tired, and drained. I settled on the new Five Finger Death Punch album for my soundtrack for the day, and proceeded to slowly get my life together, before sitting down to write. Since I first heard the album, the song A Little Bit Off has spoken to me. It’s definitely me today.
I took a break to discuss with the landlord what time he would be out to make the repairs in the bathroom tomorrow, and even though I wasn’t feeling social or chatty I did talk with Sophia, too. I had purchased some of the Color Street nail strips the previous evening – I’m not a girly girl, but I do like color on my toenails. Anything that is going to make the process quicker and more efficient was worth a try, and I did find the product to be just that. I made Matthew and I scrambled eggs with spinach, mushrooms, shallots and sun dried tomatoes mixed in, which was delicious.
I’m still tired, though. I have little intention of doing anything beyond writing today. I submitted another article yesterday, and depending on what I find today on the website I will submit more. Hopefully they approve them before the first so I can get my first payment with more than just the one article on it.
I still can’t believe that I’m getting paid to write. I won’t believe it until the money is in my account.
Today’s quote made me smile, despite this drained feeling I currently have.
“Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.” – H.G. Wells
It is so, so important to take time for fun.
Remember, I decided earlier this week that I was going to treat this new venture like a second job. I’m waking up earlier and staying up just as late as before. I’m busting my ass to make this work – not just for me, but for my family. That extra money coming in is only going to allow for bigger and better things for us. I had settled on at least an hour of writing in the mornings, and at least two in the evenings during the week, and then wanted to work at least four hours on my days off from my regular job.
On Friday, and again on Saturday, I didn’t put in all those hours, just some. I opted to be with friends. I skipped my evening writing on Friday, and only worked a couple hours on Saturday. I did put extra hours in on Wednesday, though. So it evens out.
And that’s completely fine. While I have a dedication to this art and a dedication to make this new venture work, I also know that I need balance. I can’t work forty odd hours a week at one job, and another 24 doing this writing every week. I had a good idea of what I thought was a good plan of action, but I realized that it wasn’t going to work. If I push myself too hard, I will get burned out.
So I tweaked it a little.
I realize the importance of working on my writing every single day, but the beauty of working in the arts and freelance world, is you can do it as you see fit.
Anyway, back to Mr. Wells quote. . .
You can’t work your life away and expect it to be fulfilling life. Additionally, I think it’s important to set aside any preconceived notions of what is the definition of ‘fun’, what is acceptable for an ‘adult’ to do, and follow your whims and urges.
He used the example of bike riding, but what about other things, what about things that aren’t in your normal range of possibiities? I mean, I won’t ever go sky diving, but that’s a good example.
I’ve talked about how I didn’t get my license until I was about 24, and how I have a fear of expressway driving. But I also got the idea to take Matthew to the Henry Ford Museum in Detroit several years ago, and did so – on a whim. I did find a way to avoid the expressway, but otherwise it was a spur of the moment thing and not something we had ever done. We spent the day walking the museum, talking about the exhibits and history. It’s one of my favorite memories with him, and if I had dismissed it because of the unknown aspects of the trip, I wouldn’t have that.
Especially with your kids, you need to take the time to ‘get small,’ as dad used to say. Or in other words, get on their level. Sometimes this is by just trying to think how they would think, how they would view a situation. And others, it’s doing something that you know they would enjoy, even if there are a lot of uncertain factors involved, even if it may seem like a silly thing for an adult to do. . . you’ll be surprised by how much fun you can have doing things that aren’t considered ‘adult’ activities.
You absolutely must take time for fun in your life. There are years of my own life that I didn’t have that luxury – neither the time nor the money to do anything but work and take care of my family. My life is so much more fulfilled and happy now that I can take the time to do something fun occasionally, now that I have time to enjoy the people that are important to me.
I kind of think that was the point of this quote. Take time to enjoy life. Our time here is so, so short. You never know when it will be over – why spend the time working it away?
Have a wonderful Sunday, folks. I hope it’s a day of fun and adventure.