Let me tell you, today was rough. I haven’t done the whole working on three hours of sleep thing in a minute. I forgot how horrid it is.
Matthew is at his friend’s house, and Chase is gone on a trip with Emma. I came home, changed into comfortable clothes. Leftover pizza and a cold Redd’s accompanied me to my room, where I sat down and looked through my emails (still no fucking approved article. Grr.) and checked out some statistics on WordPress, and Facebook. The last month has record numbers, and The Girl in the Hijab is doing amazing, thanks to her sharing it on her social media. It’s sitting at 70 views. I haven’t had a post do that well since I wrote my first one about Matthew. I’ve kept tabs on it all day, and keep just shaking my head in disbelief. We’re nearing record breaking numbers here today, folks. I’m excited to have reached so many people.
Today’s quote is something I talk a lot about, so I decided to take a different approach on it.
“Look past your thoughts so you may drink the pure nectar of this moment.” Rumi
I don’t know how many ways I can say that it’s the little things in this life that make it worthwhile. So I wrote down the little moments through out my day that made me smile.
As I drove to work this morning, I sat at a stop light behind a SUV with a Baby Groot bumper sticker that said, ‘baby on board.’
I was on the phone with a resident who is looking to move. I always take it as a personal thing when people move out of my community to another community – did I not do my job well enough to make them want to stay?? We discussed her options – it’s hard to find a place right now due to a boom in rentals because of COVID. “I have two places to look at this weekend, so I’ll let you know what I’m going to do once I look at them. You have been so understanding, and worked with me so much during this. I really hope that wherever I end up, that management is as good as you are.”
Later in the day, a recent move in came in with her move in checklist, with not a thing marked as wrong on it. She had been referred by a family member, and praised me for how well I run the property, and said the person who had referred her said the same.
These moments made my fucking day, let me tell you. It’s been almost two years that I’ve been at this property, and it’s still got a lot of work needed. But the residents see that I enjoy what I do, and that I’m doing what I can to make this a good place for them to live. I hope they see that I am sincere in doing what I do, too. Everyone likes to be recognized for their hard work, and I’ve busted my ass for sure on this property. It’s nice to know that it’s noticed by the people who it effects most directly.
Yesterday evening as I was sitting writing, I got a message from my Chaser on a messaging app I downloaded onto his tablet for him. As I said, he’s with Emma out of town for a few days. “See you in the morning when the moon comes up. Good night I love you.” The message brought real tears to my eyes. I love him so very much, and I love that he loves his momma so much, too.
I was glancing through my memories this morning, and happened on a photo of me and my concert buddy at the Hinder show last year. It brightened my day to see photos from the show.
Also in my memories was this from four years ago (so a four year old Chase):
“Chase, if you eat all your dinner, you can have some of the peach cobbler I just put in the oven!”
Chase gave me the most horrified look. I was so confused.
I laughed so hard for so long. And he just stood there looking at me like I’m a monster. . .
Matt had plans to go to a friend’s house today, and text me to remind me. I reminded him to do his chores, and he text me back to let me know that he had done them. “Okay child, ty. I love you!” I responded. Half an hour later he text me again. “I forgot to text you back but I love you too.”
I can feel my mental and emotional health getting better, and I’m noticing how that’s effecting my life style. I’m waking up earlier, I actually have an appetite. . . I’ve lost twenty pounds in the last month or so, and while it’s not like I didn’t need to, I know that it was due to my mental and emotional health, not because I practiced good eating habits and exercised right. I know part of it is this drive to move forward, this drive to accomplish my goals . . . but a lot of it was because I wasn’t okay. I’m slowly getting better. I have moments, sure. I’ve come to terms with the idea that I don’t know what comes next. I’ve accepted that, and embraced it as much as I can. One moment at a time. . . I know the saying is ‘one day at a time’, but man. Sometimes it’s really moment by moment. Everything happens for a reason, what’s meant to be will be. For right now, I’m just glad I’m doing better.
I could go into detail about so many little things that brightened my day; joking with Sophia on the phone, the sight of three planes flying over me while I walked from my car to the office, the new drink I tried from Starbucks today, a whiff of cologne, how happy I am with my tan, how awesome my Godsmack station is – mostly Godsmack, with a smattering of other bands I like. A million and one things I noticed today that make my world a little brighter. A million things that are keeping my overthinking mind distracted and help me appreciate life a little more every day. This is how I get through the bad times. I take note of the little moments that make up this wonderful life of mine, and I count my blessings. Which are many.