What is done in Love

Okay, time to sit down and write.

I actually wrote two posts today, and scheduled one to post tomorrow, so there’s that. But I didn’t write the quote post last night, for the first time in what, like two weeks? So I definitely have to tonight.

Today was a kind of a busy day. I mean, I wrote two posts, as I said. I worked my four Sunday hours. I gardened and made dinner and dyed my hair.

It was the perfect day to garden. I had a few annuals left to buy, and light bulbs for my ceiling fan. So I stopped at Lowe’s on my way home from work. I came out with vegetable plants – a couple red bell peppers, some basil, some banana peppers, and for the first time ever, a jalapeño plant. I really want to make salsa this year, and have all of the ingredients – with exception to cilantro, which I’ll get another time. Again, I have all of these seeds, I just feel it’s too late in the season to plant them and be successful. I’m gonna give winter sowing a whirl for next season. If I’m planting shit in January, I shouldn’t have these time constraint issues next year.

I didn’t find much in the way of annuals at Lowe’s, so I stopped at a local neighborhood fresh food market which also has a greenhouse in the back. This is where I found a bunch of plants not even two weeks ago, so I was sure they would have what I needed.

I was absolutely shocked to walk in to find literally like two flats of flowers left – and they were my least favorite, impatiens.

By this time I was sweating my ass off in my long skirt and t-shirt, even though the temperature in my car read under 80℉. I stopped home, changed into a tank top and capri leggings, and grabbed my little one to shop with me. He loves gardening, and garden shopping.

We headed to another home improvement store, and although their prices were ridiculous, I found what I needed. I got a hibiscus plant – another first for me – some pretty things to put in my pots that hang off of my back deck, a few more petunia’s for the front porch.

We took our bounty home, and got to work.

I used to prefer to garden alone, as I do most things. I like to work and listen to music, with minimal distractions. Chaser has such a love for gardening though, and he’s so fun to teach. He’s also old enough to be more of a help than a hindrance now, too. So together we planted the flowers, him taking breaks now and again to go and jump on the trampoline. Matt came out and squirted water from the hose at him while he jumped at one point, and I reminded him we needed to cut the grass. He seemed eager to get it done, going in immediately to put on tennis shoes.

A while ago, grandma went and bought a second lawn mower – she’s never content having just one of something, in the event that the one breaks down – this isn’t always a bad thing. So we have two push mowers, and once I saw Matt pulling the one out, I got the other one out. We tag teamed the yard – I got the side yard while he tackled the front, I removed the lights and shepherds hooks that were in the front yard and mowed those spots while he hit the spot by the road. We moved to the back, and I again got the side yard and by the fence, while he got the main part. We met at the trampoline, and he did one side while I did the other. I couldn’t help but grin as we mowed, neither of us getting in the other’s way, seeming to know without speaking what the other was going to do next.

It occurred to me that this is what I’ve been working towards. And that I don’t need anyone, as long as I have my boys. Making the yard look nice with their help was an extremely satisfying feeling.

So, let’s cut to the chase. Time for the quote.

“It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much and what is done in love is done well.” – Vincent van Gogh

I totally understood this quote, even though it seems like a really complicated string of words.

Where to start with unraveling it, though?

To start, I guess I will use my own life as an example, for I do indeed love many things.

Gardening, reading, yoga, writing, music, cleaning, working, cooking . . .

There is never a dull moment in my life, as I always have something to do – and that’s not even counting the time I spend with my kids, or my friends. If it’s raining or cold, I can fill my day with a book or writing, yoga. Music is the background noise to my life, it’s not often I do anything without music playing. It’s the first thing I reach for in the morning, it plays while I do everything, with exception of reading. There’s concerts, if we ever get that privilege back (Pleasepleasepleaseplease I need a good fucking concert, like, yesterday). In the warmer months I can read or write outside, garden. There’s always something to clean, so it’s a good thing that I enjoy that.

And in having many things I love to do, I have knowledge of a lot of different things, and I can distract myself when I am dealing with troubling times. There’s strength in knowledge, there’s strength in not pacing the floor trying to puzzle out an unsolvable problem.

And I do these things well. Because I do love to do them. Okay, except maybe yoga. I’m not a super athletic person, so I’m probably at best mediocre at that. But I’m okay at it, probably better at it than if I just did it to exercise and that’s it. I do it because I enjoy it, and when you enjoy something you’re naturally better at it.

My days are full of the things I love. I do a lot on any given day – like I said, I worked today, I made dinner today, I worked in the gardens today, I wrote two posts today mowed the grass, shopped, dyed my hair. . . I’ve been up since 8am, and it’s pushing 11pm and I haven’t stopped since my feet hit the floor this morning. I don’t even really feel tired, because I enjoyed my day. Which is probably a good thing, because I still need to put away laundry. Which is something I do not love, so I’m definitely procrastinating on that item.

I came by loving these items through curiosity. The reading and writing came almost naturally, but the rest of it was chance. A friend took me to a yoga class and I fell in love with it. I moved into the house and had a yard for the first time and wanted to do something with it, so I planted flowers, and found my green thumb and have increased my garden size every year since – well, not this year. It’s reached max size. But I do try to grow new things every year. I needed a job that made more than minimum wage, and found a profession that provides me with intriguing situations and the ability to help people. I got lucky there, not many people can say they truly enjoy their jobs, but I can. Cleaning came from having to do it – I mean, I guess you don’t have to do it, but it really makes life smoother when you have a clean house. I found it soothed my ever anxious mind, it was something I could control when life was extra clusterfucky.

And then there’s music. I grew up with it, and lean on it for everything. I can’t play an instrument, my singing isn’t anything magnificent, but I enjoy all aspects of the art. It’s there when I’m happy, sad, mad. . . it makes me think and puts into words the things I don’t dare say sometimes.

If you’re one of those people that has many hobbies, someone who is always going and doesn’t often stop, count yourself among the lucky. You don’t know what boredom is. You never have to sit there and wish for another’s company, because your days are filled to the brim with activity.

Shinedown is playing this evening, Devil from their Attention, Attention album. I’ve been lucky enough to see them twice, and I will see them anytime they come to town. Chase just got out of the tub – “Mom, you’re always on your laptop!” – says the child who’s tablet is welded to his hand.

“No, this is the first time I’ve been on it today!” I responded.

“Well you were on it yesterday,” he countered.

“I’m writing, baby.” I answered, realizing that I had never discussed this particular hobby with him.

“Well, how much do you have to write?!” he responded, and I laughed.

Tons little one. Tons and tons and tons.

My day was full of the things I love, and I can go to sleep tonight knowing that it wasn’t a wasted day. And there’s no doubt I will sleep well, either.

I definitely urge people to explore their world, and find what sets your soul on fire. You never know – a new experience could bring you unexpected joy.