Day 16: Missing

I looked at my thirty day writing challenge list yesterday evening after publishing day 15, so I could start thinking about the next post.

“Well, shit.” I said, looking at day 16. Where should I start? Should I pick just one thing or list all the things that come to mind when I think on this topic?

Day 16: Something that you Miss

I guess I just don’t think about it. I’m very much in the present, and very much planning ahead, not looking back. So when I first read the sentence, a bunch of things hit me at once: immediately I thought about how I miss my dad. And when Matt was little now that he’s fourteen and five foot seven.

And as I thought about it today, there were little things – the woods where I grew up, my childhood friends. . . Things that all of us as adults miss, like not being responsible for so much and being carefree. I miss waking up whenever my body wakes me, 3am walks with friends, not having so many bills. How about a $50 cell phone bill? Im sure those still exist but not with two smart phones and a tablet to pay for each month. I miss the firsts with my boys – smiles and laughs and steps.

But the thing of it is. . .

There are so many new firsts to see, new experiences to have. Sure, I have a ton of responsibility that I didn’t have when I was a teenager, but hey. . . I also am allowed to drink alcohol now, so there’s that.

I still have yet to experience watching my children graduate and learn how to drive. . . I’m not really looking forward to that second one, for the record. I am going to have a front row seat to their accomplishments and endeavors. I’m sure there are grandchildren in my future. I got to watch Chase play his first football game this last weekend, and Matt has started to learn how to use power tools in his woodworking class. I’m going to be in my mid forties when Chase hits 18. . . I’m sure I’ll have 3am walks with friends again, and someday I’ll be able to sleep until my body wakes me.

Why dwell on the things we miss, is my point. . . Why do that, when there are so many things to look forward to? I will never talk to my parents or grandparents or various other people that have passed again, and I do miss them. But why dwell on that even, when at least I can say I have fond memories with these people? The past is the past, and there’s no going backwards. But forward. . . Oh, forward holds so much wonder and excitement!

Take a moment to be grateful for the things and people that are gone today folks. Because without having experienced those things, without having loved those people, you wouldn’t appreciate all that you are and all that you will someday be. By continually looking back, you will miss what’s going on in front of you.

Published by: A. Elizardo

Single mother to two amazing boys, sister to an inspiration, and the daughter of two opinionated, sarcastic, fun loving individuals that are no longer physically with us. Music, writing, reading, my family - living and gone - are what keep me going as I put on my rose colored glasses and navigate us through this crazy world.

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