Quiet

The quiet in my life continues.

The fuck?

I mean, I’m not wishing for anything crazy to happen, please don’t misunderstand. 

Actually, I’m kinda afraid it’s the quiet before the storm. 

My life just doesn’t stay quiet.

Clarice is up to some weird shit, and I don’t know if she’s getting ready for another breakdown, or if this is the new norm since the trans is actually working like it’s supposed to. Actually, I know how she’s starting isn’t normal, having owned enough shitty cars in my life. But I’ve had her tested again recently (like the whore has reoccurring STD’s or something) and everything is supposedly reading fine. But her start is off. Maybe it’s the cold. Pray for the old bitch, if you’d be so kind. I need to make it through the holidays before I have anymore unexpected expenses. 

Things for brother have been quiet. The boys are good. My extended family is good. My friends are good. 

It’s just so quiet.

Yoga and work and dinner and cleaning and homework and baths and yoga and bed. 

Even work is quiet, and after several months of tumultuous hecticness, I welcome the quiet, but pray for a lease in the same breath. 

Even this blog has quieted down. I have 3-5 steady readers (thanks for reading even the boring stuff, everyone) and my numbers aren’t as high, even with the Facebook page. But that’s okay, too. I don’t write necessarily for numbers. I write to quiet my brain. 

I could work on part two of Turning Back Time. It’s on my mind daily. But I’m not ready to put those last years with my mother into words yet. It’s a rough one. I have toyed with book reviews, similar to Album of the Week. Not sure I want to commit to that, however. Dorothy got me hooked on Nora Roberts, not my go to genre but the woman sure can write. I’m reading like my life’s dependant on it. I’ve zoomed through 300 pages in less than 24 hours, if that gives you an idea. Speaking of Album of the week, I’ve got a new one I’m listening to, but the album’s pretty deep and going to take some time for me to unravel what it means to me. Good sound, heavy on the drums, and the lyrics and vocals are stunning. 

For now, I’ll take the quiet. It’s giving me time to breathe and take in all that my life is. I’m a lucky woman. Beautiful, intelligent, funny, amazing kids, a roof and heat and running water and money enough to not be stressed. My amazing brother, my fantastic friends and family. I have my books and music and writing. And hey. Clarice started today, and not only that, got me to and from work. I’ll take it.

Published by: A. Elizardo

Single mother to two amazing boys, sister to an inspiration, and the daughter of two opinionated, sarcastic, fun loving individuals that are no longer physically with us. Music, writing, reading, my family - living and gone - are what keep me going as I put on my rose colored glasses and navigate us through this crazy world.

Categories every day life, Grateful3 Comments

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