Things my son said to me this morning

• Looking at brochure for Chase’s school pictures: “ugh! Why’d they pick that kid to model?”

“Matt!”

“Well. He’s scary looking. His eyes are black.”

• “Mom, can you *clears throat like he has a hairball* get me some chips for my lunch?”

“What the hell was that?”

“When my voice cracks I just do that to fix it.”

• “If I ever decided to torture someone, know what I’d do?”

“What the hell, Matt?!”

“I’d make them get dry hands then have them read a book. That’s horrible.”

I really can’t with this kid. 

Happy Friday!