Moving Parts

Once again, I wrote this one several days ago, and just now have the time to edit and fine tune it. This past week was spent navigating all of the bullshit life has thrown at me recently, and today I am attempting to rest – I’m not done navigating, and I need to make sure I have the energy to do all that needs done. I knew I needed to get this one finished and published, though – my next quote post will likely be my last for the series, and I can feel the itch to write it. I already have an idea of what will be written, but I can’t start it until this one is completed and published. So, here we go – second to last post in the quote post series.

This quote post is right along the lines of several of the most recent ones I’ve written.

The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. – Henry Miller

I didn’t put together the quote book that I’m using, and I’m sure the idea of the book was not to have some random person base blog posts on its contents. I can’t say if there was any deliberate attempt at grouping these quotes together. . . But maybe it was intentional. And maybe the timing is just perfect for me. I feel that I do make an attempt to live life to it’s fullest, and I do try to appreciate everything wonderful and unique, everything quiet and serene, for what it is and not take any of it for granted.

But I can say, without a doubt, that I have spent the last couple of months hyper focused on one aspect in particular. So maybe the timing is perfect for these posts. Maybe I needed the reminder that there is so much to take in and enjoy about life, that I shouldn’t hyper focus on any one aspect – I should enjoy every facet of this life that I’ve been given.

I have a lot in my life. There are a lot of moving parts, a lot of people that depend on me in one way or another – not to mention my semi-demanding career, a house to maintain, and a million little hobbies that fulfill me. This seems like a short list, but it’s definitely the condensed version. My days are full. I don’t ever have an opportunity to experience boredom. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I think the point of this quote is to make one remember to enjoy all of it.

I have good days and bad days – we’ve covered that. We’ve covered that the bad days don’t weigh me down, because I know that tomorrow is a fresh start. I am fully aware that even on the worst day, there is always some good in it – even if it’s just something seemingly small – a butterfly crossing my path, a joke one of the boys tells me, the comfort of being able to unwind with a quiet meditation or TV show to distract me some from whatever clusterfuck lay in front of me. . . I can say with certainty that there has never been a day so bad that I didn’t take a moment to appreciate some little good thing that has occurred in the midst of it.

I’m aware that my life is complicated, and hectic. Sometimes, all the moving parts don’t move in a conducive manner – they occasionally overlap and get in the way of another moving part. I’m aware that at times, my life may seem almost messy. I’m also aware that when shit goes good, it goes really fucking good. But when it goes bad. . . Oh boy, does it ever go bad. To an outsider looking in, it looks like a lot to balance. And truthfully, it is a lot. This life of mine is not for the weak, or anyone that craves a quiet, peaceful life. It is not that. It never has been, and likely never will be. It is a roller coaster – extreme highs and extreme lows. But each moving part is a part of my story. It is a part of who I am. This life that I have lived, and am living, has made me into who I am and is shaping who I am becoming. Because of this life I am confident in my ability to get through whatever shit storm is occurring. Because of this life, I know without a doubt that no storm lasts – that there is always blue skies and sunshine coming my way.

So, I embrace it all. The highs, the lows, the hecticness. . . All of it. I was made for this life. Only I can appreciate it for what it is. I understand how it works, and can handle the complexities. I embrace it joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely. . . All those words that Henry used to describe how one should approach life. Maybe my outlook and approach is a tad reckless – much like that of a drunk person. Maybe I should approach things more cautiously, take fewer chances, see if a more conventional approach may quiet things down some. Maybe I need to be more realistic, and see this life for what it looks to be from an outsider – a complete and utter shit show. But honestly. . . I’m grateful for my drunken, rose colored glasses, half glass full outlook. I’m grateful for all that my life is – the good and the bad, even. I’m fortunate, really. I can’t imagine the alternative – being negative about all of the bad that has made it’s way into my life, or even having a quiet, normal life. I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am without each and every experience that I’ve had. I know I talked about it a little in a post I wrote in the spring – how I feel like the real bad shit storms are behind me, and how I feel like I can truly just enjoy life now. But I can’t say, in retrospect, that I know that to be completely accurate – I was in a place of peace and quiet in that moment. I think what is more accurate is that I’ve adapted and accepted the highs and lows that are a part of this life, and I have the ability to be more objective. I can see the shit storm, but also see the things that are good despite it. I can appreciate the quiet times, and rest in them, with the knowledge that soon, life will resume at it’s break neck pace that I have become so accustomed to. I don’t think that I could live a quiet, normal life at this point, at least, not on a permanent basis – I think I’d be bored to tears. Not that I wish for it to rain bad days continuously by any means. But. . . I know that they are inevitable. I can still appreciate the periods that are good, and persevere through the bad, until the good shows up again.

I am aware of each and every moving part of what my life is, and who I am – none of it is simple. None of it is cookie cutter, or predictable. I am not those things, either – I have adapted to this beautiful, complex life of mine – I am aware – joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. It keeps me on my toes, and I am constantly learning new things. There is never a dull moment, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

For now, it’s time for me to give my keyboard a rest, so I can prepare for the week ahead – and hopefully be able to string some words together amidst the crazy for my final quote post. Happy Sunday. My wish for you is objectivity, and that something simple and beautiful crosses your path today – and you take the moment to embrace it.

Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash