Retreat from Social Media – Day 3

Whew. Last post for the day.

I posted one post this morning, and three more this afternoon. My brain is about done for. To many it looks like I am just sitting here listening to music and tapping on a keyboard. The thought process, though. . .

I make concert stations on LiveXLive, once upon a time called Slacker Radio. When I secure tickets to a show, I make a station devoted to the band or bands who will be playing at the show I’m getting ready to attend. Last December I got to see Five Finger Death Punch, Bad Wolves, Three Days Grace and Fire from the Gods in a phenomenal show. I have been a Three Days Grace fan since they first hit the music scene in the early-ish two thousands, their album One-X getting me through yet another rough patch in my life. I blared the album in my Buick, Christine, with the aide of a discman and a cassette tape adapter brother hooked me up with way back then. They switched lead singers, and I followed them, even then. This particular show was the second I had seen them in that year, first seeing them with Disturbed in March of 2019. As for FFDP, I only liked their cover songs, not liking what I had heard otherwise. I had similarly made a station made up of artists who would be at Inkcarceration, and found I liked them a little more than I had previously. And after seeing them live, I fell in love with their stage presence. I was not upset to have paid a ridiculous amount of money to see them. Bad Wolves is a new band that I’ve mentioned previously, and Fire from the Gods is even newer. I love both bands.

So anyway, I made this playlist, went to the concert, and then forgot about the playlist.

Until yesterday, when I needed something a little harder to drive my day. I scrolled my stations, and seeing that one knew it was what I needed. I wasn’t disappointed.

I debated going back to a more mellow sound this morning as I sat here writing, but opted not to. I’ve come across some songs I haven’t heard before through listening to the station again, and remembered songs I had forgotten, as well.

I woke at 630am, with the intention of at least getting one post done. I did just that, wrote out a couple bills, prepared the packing slip for Matt’s ring to be returned – he has apparently grown since being sized for it in the winter. Luckily they offer free ring resizing.

I went to work, and knocked some shit out. I opted to not listen to music today as I went through my checklist. My eyes felt tired, and I felt as though every ounce of concentration needed to go towards getting shit done. But as I worked, I debated on how I was going to address my social media dilemma.

I felt anxious at the prospect of rejoining, to be honest. Apparently social media is a trigger of anxiety for me at this point in my life. That’s okay. At least I can recognize it.

So how exactly am I going to run two pages and maintain my blog if I don’t rejoin in some fashion?

I talked to both Sophia and Emma about my prediciment. I have not missed it, other than occasionally when I’m outside smoking. But then I can busy myself on Pinterest, finding photos that apply to the theme I have on the Facebook page. I have my email, which is never not got something to attend to. There’s almost always something to do without including Facebook. There are occasions when there isn’t though, and I’m okay with that, too. I’ve found myself staring out at my garden and admiring it, up at the sky and admiring the blue expanse and clouds, or similarly the moon and stars in the evenings.

Grandma brought up some news story I had no knowledge of this evening, so there is a downside in that regard. I’ve never been a news follower, the only thing keeping me connected was the news stations on my news feed on Facebook.

I definitely don’t miss that. The news is full of turmoil and anger, now more than ever. I don’t need to know about that. And in the event that something is going down that I need to be aware of, I’m sure someone will tell me about it.

I worked my four hours, and hit the banks, post office, pharmacy, and car wash before heading home. It was hotter than hell, and I was anxious to be in my room, Rosalyn in front of me and AC blasting next to me.

I grabbed something to eat while talking with the boys, changed my clothes, started laundry, and got down to writing.

I went to check the WordPress stats and while scrolling noticed that there was an odd referrer that I had never seen before. For those not in the Word Press world, it will occasionally show you where people read your posts – on the WordPress app, or through a link. I have an occasional reader who reads through some sort of site that hides your web browsing history, which I think is interesting. Most readers are through WordPress. I get an occasional one through Instagram. The rest are from Facebook, but it generally doesn’t show what they clicked or where, so I have no way of telling who is reading what.

I clicked this mysterious link, though. . .

And it took me to Facebook.

“Shit! What the fuck?!” I said, exiting the screen quickly.

But not before I saw I had over 20 notifications, and I felt anxiety hit me harder than it has in a while.

Odd. Such an odd reaction.

I have a feeling I know what is causing me to feel so anxious about Facebook, but I need to do some more soul searching before I can completely address the matter.

In the mean time. . .

In the meantime, I’ve come to the conclusion that Facebook is a necessary part of my life, but I do have the ability to limit it. It doesn’t need to be on my phone, because now I have Rosalyn. I think I am going to limit it to once a day, in the evenings, and mainly to post new content to the So, This is Real Life page. In the event that I’m needed for the other page, I will address that when the need arises. I can and will continue to schedule posts, and continue to utilize the autopost feature from WordPress to Facebook.

I just need to cut some bullshit from my life. I just need to simplify things a little bit for a period of time.

Being without social media has brought a peace into my life that I didn’t know was possible. I have more time for the things I enjoy. I didn’t get to get lost in a book this weekend, and it was too hot for me to spend time in the garden. . . but the mindless scrolling took away from moments in my life. And all those little moments add up.

Happy Sunday. I can’t encourage this little experiment enough. Take time to disconnect and enjoy the moments that you are likely losing through staring at your phone screen so much.

Published by: A. Elizardo

Single mother to two amazing boys, sister to an inspiration, and the daughter of two opinionated, sarcastic, fun loving individuals that are no longer physically with us. Music, writing, reading, my family - living and gone - are what keep me going as I put on my rose colored glasses and navigate us through this crazy world.

Categories every day life, Self DiscoveryLeave a comment

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