It’s fucking QUIET.
Like, stupid quiet.
And really, there’s nothing different now than yesterday or the day before. I mean, I don’t have to work today, so I’m sure that helps. But nothing else has changed in my life beyond deleting all things social media related.
I completed the set up of automated posts on Facebook – basically, I scheduled everything I wanted to post between now and Sunday night, and Facebook will do the rest. I don’t have to log in or check on them. I then made some minor changes to the website and set up WordPress to auto post my new blog posts to Facebook. My goal was to keep the Facebook page going while I took my social media break. I posted a test post from WordPress, and hated the lay out. But, it is what it is.
And then I removed Facebook from my remembered site list on Roasalyn, and deleted all things Facebook and Instagram from my phone.
What’s really fucked up is as I completed the process, I felt anxious as hell. I have no idea why, but the feeling was there.
I spoke with Sophia about it after I finished, and even though I felt anxious, I also felt relief. I knew I needed this.
I didn’t do any yoga last night, as I was too tired. I showered and went to bed just before midnight. . .
And slept until eight fucking thirty in the morning. Straight through. When I woke up I had a text from Oliver, but otherwise, no notifications. I didn’t have to immediately post something inspirational to the facebook page, answer comments, see who liked what. . . none of it.
I just rolled out of bed, and leaving my phone on my bedside table, went to the kitchen for water.
No notifications interrupted my yoga practice. Nothing interrupted me making scrambled eggs for myself and the boys. I made a large cup of coffee and didn’t have notifications interrupting my music as I showered.
So. Fucking. Peaceful.
Today I opted for Anna Nalick’s first album Wreck of the Day – I felt calm, and her music is rather calm. Although I’m not super musically talented, I have a secret love of singing, and her album is one of my favorite to sing to. The album came out the year Matthew was born, and it was one of the first CD’s I bought when I first moved to Toledo. I remember holding a grumpy baby Matthew B., standing in my studio apartment kitchen and swaying and singing to him to calm him. I remember listening to the album as I went through my mother’s belongings, sitting on the same kitchen floor not long after that, and crying as I sang and looked through her pictures.
It’s amazing how a song can take you back in time. It’s amazing the emotions it can evoke. I have my favorite albums, my steadfasts, the ones I turn to and always will. This is one of them. This album has gotten me through a lot. Listening to it is like chatting with an old friend after a long time.
Anyway, I sang with Anna as I cleaned the bathroom and started laundry, cleaned the kitchen and made my bed. . . all without having to stop and check anything on my phone.
The rest of my day consisted of me just doing what seemed like a good idea. A couple friends stopped by, and I talked to Sophia a few times. I also talked to brother for a little while. We haven’t talked much, with exception to text messages, and it was good to hear his voice. My Human Unlimited shirt arrived, and with it one of their ever so insightful cards.
Otherwise it’s just been me getting shit done in a leisurely fashion and listening to the boys play on their respective game consoles. I got some financial shit situated, and brother’s taxes done. I checked some shit off my to-do list, shit that I needed to do month’s ago. I’m making moves. It feels good to finally be moving forward and not sitting still like I’ve done for so long.
I figured I’d type up a quick post though. I’ll be on later to write the quote post, but I figured out a way to set up a desk area and want to get that done so that I can get my ass off the floor.
It’s amazing, really. How just deleting a few apps off my phone brought me this much peace. I’m so much more relaxed, so much less anxious. If people are liking shit and commenting on shit and sharing shit, that’s great. If not. . . oh well, I guess. I’ll figure that out Monday.
I told Sophia this morning though – this may go on longer than 3 days. I may find a way to make this a more permanent part of my life.
Happy Friday. Take a moment to disconnect. You’ll be surprised what it does for your peace of mind.