Back deck writing, my internet radio playing a general rock station that is the soundtrack to my life here recently – everything from early 90’s alternative to current hard rock. I think this station is my happy place. Bad Wolves just got done singing “Sober” and Rage followed with “Guerilla Radio.” Angry Orchard Rosė on my little table. . .
It’s nice to be home. Today was pretty fucky, as my meme on the Facebook blog page suggested this morning. After I was up too late talking to a friend, thus making me wake up late. After I spilled my coffee and burned myself, after I spilled makeup, forgot I scratched up my leg when I ran into one of my rose bushes last night while talking on the phone and not paying attention, and then decided to shave this morning. . . yeah, this morning was indeed pretty fucky.
Work was also fucky, and so now I’m happy to be sitting here with my alcoholic beverage, Rosalyn, and my music. I’m looking more and more forward to 6pm tomorrow, which begins a five day period in which I have little intention of worrying about my place of employment. The air is pleasant against my skin, it’s not too warm or too cool. Despite the rather tired feeling I have, I got a burst of energy, and while dinner cooked I cleaned my room and made my bed for the first time since Saturday. For the record, I still have not put away my pile of clean laundry, though.
Truth be told, I worked for like an hour and a half on yesterday’s quote post, and after working that long I hated it and decided to abandon it. That’s writing life. Sometimes the inspiration isn’t there, and sometimes the inspiration changes course so rapidly you’re left like ummm, what in the actual fuck?
Anyway, it was so late in the evening that I decided to try again today.
So here I am on my back deck, watching Chase play basketball and feeling the warm breeze.
“Green is the prime color of the world. And that from which it’s loveliness arises.” – Pedro Calderon de la Barca
I totally believe this. I’ve written of the peace that green light brings me – the light from sunlight filtering through the leaves of trees. Pedro here gets it. You can read Green Light here.
I don’t have a wooded area readily available to me like I did as a child and young adult, and while there are parks near enough for me to drive to where I could experience it, a park isn’t private enough for me. As with most things, I enjoy my walks in the woods in solitude. And as with many things, I prefer to have my headphones in so I can listen to music while I soak up the peace that the trees bring me. I’ve turned to gardening to substitute it I suppose, growing green things instead of walking among the trees, music always accompanying me.
I come out of a walk in the woods much more calm and at peace with myself and where I am in life, and the same is true after a good session in the garden. Weeding and planting, the manual labor that is sometimes associated with keeping a tidy garden. . . it’s all good for me. I concentrate on the problem at hand, the task at hand, and I’m able to remove myself from whatever is bothering me. It’s like a form of meditation, because it clears my mind.
I think I’m a better person for gardening. I think that in clearing my mind I can reapproach what’s bothering me with a better attitude.
I’m sure Pedro was just referring to actual plants as being what brings beauty to the world, but I think there’s beauty that comes from growing and nurturing plants. I think that you have to have some part of your soul that is nurturing in order to engage in the activity, and I think that as you plant things and tend to what you’ve planted, that nurturing aspect grows to be more prominent.
We moved into the house now almost five years ago, and every year I’ve upgraded my garden, or made attempts to grow new things that I haven’t grown yet. The first year I hand dug a plot, not having the tools necessary to do what needed done in a more efficient manner. I pulled the grass up and dug rocks out (not as many as I would have if I had been back home in Hillsdale County, but plenty, let me assure you) got bitten by ants as I uprooted their merry little lives. I got sunburned and came out with blisters. . . and a sense of accomplishment.
The same was true of the upgraded garden I put in last year. I laid the weed barrier, and installed the boarder for the beds. I moved the five yards of dirt into the beds, and I laid the 2 yards of mulch. . . I planted the ridiculous amount of sunflowers that later overtook the whole thing, and in turn it was me that chopped them down and cut them up to be burned in the fall and into the winter. I felt absolutely unstoppable after completing each phase of the endeavor. I felt like if I can do this, what can’t I do?
Gardening is helping me heal from my past. It helps me deal with my present. I think I’m becoming a stronger, better, more thoughtful person for what I do in my gardens.
And there’s a beauty in that, too.
For today’s words of wisdom, find the thing that makes you a better person. Create, grow, think, and become more.