The Interesting Struggle

I woke up but didn’t want to be awake – 630am. Half asleep I rolled over, checked my phone – an unknown number text me ‘L’ in the middle of the night. “Someone was drunk,” I thought, and debated texting them the letter ‘M’ or some other such nonsense in response. I checked my Facebook and WordPress notifications, put my phone down and fell back asleep.

Two hours later I woke again, to find my shoulder sore as hell and some random dizziness when I moved my head too quickly. Figuring it to be allergy related, I got up and showered, trying to clear my sinuses. Downside to warmer weather is my body needs to adjust to me doing manual labor and being outside with the grass and pollen.

First thing was first, I wanted to go get my Chaser. So I took a drive, enjoying the sunshine, Asking Alexandria and the wind whipping through my open windows.

I wish I would have gotten my ass up at 630am though because today is supposed to be hot as blazes, and I wanted to get the rest of my garden planted.

For the moment though, I’m sitting on my back deck under the umbrella, feeling the sticky air on my skin. I don’t know if I’m gonna get shit planted until this evening, when it cools off. I walked around and put out some decorations, moved my hanging basket to a better location, but I just can’t see me sitting in the sun right now, when it’s currently 84°. I also can’t see me going inside to do housework though, either. So, I’ll sit here and write, feeling the breeze on my skin and enjoying the sunshine.

Today’s quote rings extremely true for me, but I still am struggling a bit with it due to the fact that I’ve already written on the subject at great length.

“Success is never so interesting as struggle.” – Willa Cather

I realize that a lot of people probably read my posts because I talk a lot about how I’ve struggled and come out on top multiple times in my life. It’s some inspirational shit, I suppose. Truth be told, I’m a little tired of being inspirational. I’d really like for all of the pieces to fall into place so I can enjoy life instead of constantly having to figure how I’m going to get past the next obstacle in my path. That’s me being ungrateful for what I’ve fought for and achieved, what I’ve struggled for and obtained. I have a roof over my head, a nice vehicle, amazing friends, smart, handsome, amazing children. I enjoy my job, most of the time anyway. . . I’ve worked so hard to be where I am, and just when I get comfortable I’m met with some problem or another – be it mild or truly catastrophic.

But there’s truth in the quote, regardless of the fact that I’m over it.

Just when I get comfortable in life, I’m met with a problem. And what does it do? It makes me sit up and take notice. It makes me appreciate everything that much more. It brings the fight back out, so I can achieve more and be better.

I mean, apparently I’m meant for more than where I’m at now. That’s the only way I can take it. Life doesn’t generally give you more than you can handle. So every obstacle I’m met with must be a stepping stone to greater things.

That’s the glass half full version. That’s me sporting my fancy rose colored glasses.

And honestly, this life has given me so much material to write about, so there’s that. Maybe the shit I go through is annoying and troublesome to me, but is giving someone else a reason to be grateful for what they have. Maybe it’s giving someone else a reason to keep pushing forward, too. Maybe I’m teaching lessons through my struggles.

Hell, I don’t know.

What I do know is that just because I’m tired, doesn’t mean imma quit. I may swear the whole time I’m going through it, but I’ll keep pushing forward until I get to where I’m supposed to be.

Happy Sunday. Don’t give up until you get to your success.