Quiet

I turned off my alarm for the first time in I don’t know how long and vowed to sleep until I woke on my own. Which ended up being 830am when Chase woke me with, “Momma, what do you want to do today?”

I opened my eyes to sunlight being filtered through my curtains and Chase’s little self snuggled up against me, the air cold in the house for the first time in awhile – wind-chill of 31 degrees outside this morning. I snuggled closer to the hooligan.

“I ordered a movie for us to have movie night tonight,” I told him. “Scooby Doo returns to Zombie Island.”

“Oh, yeah!” He said. “But I mean, right now? What do you want to do right now?”

I burrowed deeper into the blankets. “More sleep.” I mumbled, closing my eyes.

“Nooooo. . .” he said, as though speaking to a silly child. “Like, do we have any board games?”

“I am not playing a board game at 830 in the morning.”

“Cards?”

“No! You’re nuts, little one!” I said laughing. “How about letting me wake up slowly and quietly?” He frowned at me, as though still dealing with a silly child who is now being absolutely ridiculous. I sighed and sat up. “How about I make breakfast?” And Chase whole heartedly agreed.

So I made pancakes and bacon and eggs for the hooligans, as always border line burning my first batch of pancakes until I got the hang of the process again. We sat and ate, discussing eggs and where they come from and how they’re processed for the store. “if you eat your eggs dippy you’re eating liquid chicken!” Matt said. Chase then informed us his aunt has a teenage chicken – to which Matt responded with “so what, it has acne and BO and it’s voice cracks when it crows?” And he did an imitation of what a teenage chicken must sound like, making his voice crack in the middle of ‘doodle’ and I legit choked on my pancake.

I proceeded to clean up the kitchen, debating how to continue my day. I still felt tired. I wanted to go to the library this weekend, a grocery store trip was also needed. There was a sale I need to check out and the furnace filter to buy yet. And perhaps a trip to the orchard for pumpkins. I saw a cool article on pumpkin painting that I wanted to try, too. . .

I opted to crawl back in my bed with my book.

I read for a while, stopped to check a Facebook notification. Read a little more and debated getting up and mopping and cleaning the bathroom. I loved the idea of a freshly cleaned house buuuut. . .

I scrolled Facebook for another minute and came across a post about apple pie made with cinnamon rolls. This prompted me to make a grocery list and text grandma to see if she wanted to go to the sale with me.

Neither decided me on leaving the house, and I’m writing this post now. Still in my comfy clothes, under my blankets. Still feeling tired.

Always doing and going and being is hard and damn it I deserve a day off. I deserve a day with my bed and book. But this other stuff. . . It needs done, and some of it is fun. . .

Decisions, decisions.

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I’ve been toying around with this post for the last couple of days. This took place in the beginning of Fall, and I didn’t finish it. I liked what I was getting at, though. Sometimes life gets overwhelming. Sometimes you just need a fucking break. And that’s okay. Take your break. Whatever you decide on today, make sure that you take time to decide what your soul needs. You can’t be everything to everyone if you don’t look out for yourself, as well. Taking a break to recharge is absolutely okay, and absolutely necessary. Sometimes you need that so you can move forward and continue to be the badass you’re meant to be. Happy Friday, y’all.