Summertime Reflections

So, I fell off the face of the WordPress world on July 7th, just before Inkcarceration festival. Life has been happening at a rate too exhausting to let me write, so my apologies.

To recap:

Ink was phenomenal. I survived all of the uncomfortable moments I was worried about. I got my tattoo. I saw some amazing sights and heard some amazing music. Maybe this winter I will finish the post I started writing about it.

My sunflowers grew to monsterous heights. They’re easily like ten foot tall. Mind boggling.

I got to see Saliva for the second time this year, so that was cool. Between the first day of summer and today I have seen roughly forty bands. Not at all bad for one summer. Of course 30 of those bands were over one weekend at Ink, but there was also this and a couple other shows I attended outside of that.

There was also the camper crawl. . . An afternoon of walking from campsite to campsite doing a medley of different alcohol shots.

And garage sailing. And work. And school shopping. And Matt trying out for soccer and turning 14 . And teaching Chase to ride his bike, and yard work, and movie nights. I squeezed in reading this summer between shenanigans, and had a birthday myself.

And now.

And now I’m so tired I only leave the house for work and to run errands. I’m tired of socializing and being away from home so often and for so long.

So I’m sitting here in the quiet on a Friday night. I have an itch to go out and do something, but I think it’s more out of habit than an actual desire to go out. . . I’m so tired I know I wouldn’t have much fun.

I had a helluva summer, but now I’m ready for the quieter, cold months. Where I can relax and recoup.

My longtime friend said to me in late June, “you’re doing an awful lot this summer for a single mother.” He wasn’t being judgy. He was just noting that my normal work, come home and take care of the kids schedule was suddenly very social and sans kids.

Due to commute times and work schedules, Chase spent roughly half the summer with his dad and family. And Matt is in his early teens and doesn’t think hanging out with Mom is cool.

So.

So I went to concerts and went to Sophia’s on weeknights for Angry Orchard and chit chatting. And on weekends there was the campground, too. I made several trips to the cemetery, and spent weekend mornings on my back deck listening to new music and watching things grow. I was mostly on the go however, only home to sleep and mow the grass and make sure Matt was fed on the days Chase was gone. When Chase was home I hung at home mostly, doing movie nights and enjoying my time with him. Despite my socializing I missed my little one terribly all summer. I felt like I was just bouncing around with nowhere to land. I missed Matt too, but he was always home to greet me, no matter how late I came in. I asked him a few times if he wanted to do anything this summer – we normally make a trip to the art museum, or The Henry Ford museum, or something. But my oldest child wanted a summer off, so I saw to his basic needs and took the summer off myself – so to speak.

My children needing me grounds me, though. I’m sure I would be a horrible mess if it weren’t for them.

Now school has started and our normal routine is back in session. They need me home to enforce bedtime and bathing, to make dinner and help with homework. To spend more time at the football field than at home. . . Okay, that’s an exaggeration. There is an awful lot of football right now, though. Matt’s coming out of his preteen shell some now that he’s a freshman, relating all of his tales from the day at dinner time when for the last couple of years he’s been quick to eat and quiet during meals. Chase is more independent than last year, but still needs his mother nudging him along. I was so excited when August first rolled around, and the unofficial end of my summer came. I was tired. I wanted to be home, and I needed my quiet routines. I needed my kids.

It was a lovely summer. But I’ve missed my children and our routines. This is what I’m here for. . . These two hooligans. With some of my own shenanigans on the side to keep me balanced.