I haven’t been writing.
Not like I was, not like I should be.
Everything kind of comes in phases for me. I do so many different things – yoga and gardening and reading, writing, concerts. . . I can’t fit every single thing I love into every single day, and still adult effectively. So I’ve been concentrating on these other things and not writing.
But lately I’ve been wanting to write. I just don’t know what about. I’ve covered so much in the last three years. I have tons of drafts saved, but I’m not ready for those to go public just yet, or I lost my train of thought and can’t pick it back up. I’m saving them for just in case, ya know?
So I searched writing prompts on Pinterest to maybe inspire myself a little.
Happened on a neat little thirty day challenge.
In no way shape or form am I gonna promise to post for 30 days straight. Especially because in less than thirty days I’m going to a hellacious music festival that’s gonna throw everything way off kilter in my life and probably be the best music weekend of my life ever. But I’m gonna try real hard to post most days, and that’s a step in the right direction, right?
Alright, so let’s jump in.
“Post ten things that make you really happy.”
1. My children.
Always, always, always. They are growing up so fast and are so smart and so funny. . . I couldn’t live with out them.
2. My Brother
Also another reason why I still grace this Earth, my big brother who is also growing up rather fast. . . It scares the life out of me and makes me so damn proud to know he’s doing everything so many people said he couldn’t.
Music never fails me. No matter what’s going on in my life, this disappointment or that frustration, a good day, if the sun’s shining, if I’m in a hurry or just need to chill out and relax – it’s there for every mood, every challenge, every celebration.
4. Being a nice human
Earlier I was driving home from the store. Quiet neighborhood, a misty, fine rain coming down. The air was grey, if you can picture it. I was at a stop sign when about half a block up I saw a basketball come rolling down a driveway and roll across the street, where it came to a stop resting against the opposite curb. “Where there’s a ball, there’s a child,” I thought, and cautiously began to accelerate, wondering if the ball had just come free of where it had sat and rolled down the driveway by chance, or if indeed a small child was going to bolt out at any moment.
Sure enough, a boy between Matt and Chase’s age hop/skipped/ran down the driveway mere seconds after I left the stop sign. He came to a halt at the curb, seeing me. I checked my rearview mirror and seeing no one behind me, I came to a stop myself. I saw no one coming towards us either, so I motioned the boy across the street, all the while watching for traffic to come in either direction. He snagged his ball, jogged back across the street, and waved to me as he ran back to continue his game. I hadn’t seen any adults come out to the front of the house, and thinking of my own children I wanted to make sure he remained safe while getting his ball. That was all. It eased my mind, but also I hope it showed him that the whole world isn’t dangerous and horrible. That people can be nice.
5. My job
My property is still a clusterfuck. And as we fix things and make them better we are still finding more clusterfucks underneath the obvious clusterfucks we already could plainly see and knew about.
That being said, my job still makes me happy. Because I’m still able to make things better. Because now my residents stop me in the parking lot to chit chat. Because even sometimes they tell me what an improvement we’ve made. Because they confide in me and trust me. I don’t get screamed at as much anymore, so there’s that. . . Except last week. Last week there was a planet in retrograde or some shit because there were a lot of crazy things that happened and I was cussed out more than once. . . But you’ll have that. Mostly my job makes me happy because I’m able to make other people happy.
I bet if you know me or have been reading awhile you knew this was gonna end up on this list, along with the kids and my brother and a few other things. I’m semi-predictable. Whatever. But for serious, there’s a peace in planting and weeding and growing and digging that is incomparable to anything else. Combine my daily walk through the gardens with some good rock music and you will find me at my most peaceful.
7. The quiet of the night
There’s something peaceful about the time after the sun sets and the stars come out. The world is quieter, and I can think more clearly. Before kids and a grown up job I was a night owl, staying up to the early morning hours. I have always loved searching for constellations, and sitting quietly watching and listening, feeling the dew as it settled on my skin. The rush of heavy summer air as it pours through my open car windows while I speed down a deserted country road. . . Yes, I am most comfortable with myself and everything around me at night.
Simultaneously, I love sunshine and despise gloom. I am not a fan of gray, and rain, and we’ve had a lot lately here in Ohio. It can be negative 30 but if the sun’s out, I’m good with it.
9. True friends
People who listen to you rant and rave about the same bullshit day in and day out until you’re over it. People who you don’t talk to for months but pick up the phone and talk to you just like you talked yesterday. My life is crazy and hectic and full if drama I create for myself by overthinking, and I love my real honest to goodness friends for never telling me to shut the fuck up and stop being stupid. Who never give me a hard time when I go into hermit mode and don’t call forever.
This is so important. I am happy with who I am. I love my sarcasm and over use of swear words, I love my ability to see the bright side 99% of the time, I love my green thumb and dependancy on music and caffeine. I love my tom boy tendancies, and the touch of femaninity that keeps me wearing makeup and painting my toenails. I’m not perfect. But I am pretty fucking awesome, even when I’m not.
Happy Sunday, folks. Take a moment to be grateful for something.