No such thing as a day off

So, I had good intentions on writing about my days frustrations and thoughts regularly. It isn’t working out so well. My days are so full that when it’s all said and done, all I want is a shower and sleep. 

It’s eleven thirty at night currently. I’ve been laying in bed over an hour, I actually got a decent nights sleep last night, and I drank two energy drinks today. Sleep isn’t coming easily. I just took a melatonin, and between it and some writing perhaps Mr. Sandman will make an appearance. 

I have been making some attempts at writing a piece about my father. It feels forced. So I’m letting that go for the time being. The words will come when I least expect it, and they will say everything perfectly. Suffice to say that I miss him, and aspire to be like him when I grow up. Happy Father’s day in Heaven Dad. ♡

As for my day. 

This weekend was the first time in a couple weeks that I didn’t have my little one. I worked late Friday night and worked through most of Saturday. I did have my oldest, which is the norm, and didn’t want to spend yet another night doing one of my organizational cleaning tasks that seem never ending. Nor did I want to spend it on the couch watching TV with Matt. We opted to visit a friend of mine out of town and didn’t get home until well after midnight. It was an uneventful visit. Matt and Will, my long time friend, are a lot alike. Both are into video games, and he showed matt a new one. That they played all night. While I cleared space on my phone and printed an email for some stuff for brother. Getting home at 1am,  after two very hectic weeks, I was more exhausted than I even realized. I slept until 1030, which is unheard of for me. I’m usually up, at the very latest, by 9am. And I was due to meet my brother for shopping at 1pm, meeting half way between where we each live. A 45 minute drive for me. 

I kicked it in gear and left on schedule. Matt decided to not ride along, and it was nice to drive and listen to my music as loud as I wanted, uninterrupted. I’m big into music, and having that uninterrupted time to listen, by myself, is important and nice. 

I spent several hours with brother shopping. I was a little on edge because I needed to be back at a decent time for the kids. I hate feeling pressed for time. It makes me grumpy. I wanted to be able to devote the necessary time to Aaron and not rush him. He’s even worse than me about being rushed. So I had to fight the urge to rush him into decisions about what we were buying and just hope that those who had the kids would understand. 

Luckily they did, and I made good time coming home. I was home by 530. Later than I wanted but not as late as I had feared. 

Chase’s dad brought him home, and the child was filthy. This is a regular occurance. Not that his dad doesn’t bathe him, not that kind of filthy. Four year old playing in the dirt filthy, and I don’t even get mad. I live in an apartment, and there isn’t a whole lot of outside for them to play in. So it truthfully does not bother me when he brings him home dirty. It means the child was being a child. I hurried up and gave him a bath and went to pick up Matt from his grandma. I had been in a hurry to get matt and get home to feed them, but matt decided for the first time in ages to stay with his grandma for the night. The daycare had scheduled to take the kids to the zoo tomorrow, and it’s supposed to be ridiculously hot. Matt didn’t want to go. So he stayed there, and I brought chase home. 

It was a quiet uneventful evening. I folded some laundry, made chase a quick dinner, and did other minor tasks around the apartment. 

During the day though I did drink those two energy drinks, and after 9+ hours of sleep last night, my body is confused. I’m hoping that the melatonin kicks in soon. Tomorrow I work my favorite shift, 930am to 5, but that means I have to be up at 730. It’s now midnight. Well, ten after. C’mon melatonin!

Published by: A. Elizardo

Single mother to two amazing boys, sister to an inspiration, and the daughter of two opinionated, sarcastic, fun loving individuals that are no longer physically with us. Music, writing, reading, my family - living and gone - are what keep me going as I put on my rose colored glasses and navigate us through this crazy world.

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